Love coarsely garbed is still love.

What if someone calls you an “asswipe”? What to say?

My own response would likely be to go into my Matthew 5:44 mode, thank the person for the insult, and say that I’ll be praying on his or her behalf. To any further insults I’d just say “Thanks for the insult.”

Is it possible to answer as coarsely but still Christ-like? Until recently I wouldn’t even have been able to conceive the question, much less an answer. But on Twitter I saw such speech.

There is a fellow I follow on Twitter, a Roman Catholic, who works in political opinion journalism. Let’s call him Hank Watson. On Twitter he receives a torrent of coarse insults — pure name-calling. Recently a fellow said Hank is greedy, and called him an “asswipe” (the original tweet has been deleted so I can’t quote it). Hank answered, “Dude, I am greedy when it comes to M&Ms. That's it. Asswipes -- always on hand, 'cause you can't never trust a fart.”

When I commented aside to him that perhaps it was unfair to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man, he corrected me: “No wits battle -- a love fest. A smile is a frown turned upside down!”

Hank, being a journalist, can write fancy. So can I. Unlike me, he can write cheerfully and coarsely. His Christ-like answer deflated the vituperation, lanced the boil. No piety such as I would do, just simple, non-combative back-atcha.

Can you imagine coarse Christ-like speech like that? Perhaps from a saint who had been a soldier, prostitute, innkeeper, or sailor? Perhaps from St. Matthew, the former tax collector and hanger-out with sinners?